We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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