one two three fourrrrnication!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
