Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
