Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Randomize
