forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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