plz talk dirty to me
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
