If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
