FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
