This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
