Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
if only i could text you this smell
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize