so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
