no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
