I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
