Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize