Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
