so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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