i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
