soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
