evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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