So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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