just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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