Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
