i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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