a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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