I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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