Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
this will be a night to untag.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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