Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
