Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
