Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
