He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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