your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
