some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i need some magic done to my vagina
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
