let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
