We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
His hands were made for my vagina.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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