I need help removing her.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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