Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
