my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
