plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
