clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
