you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He passed out mid-signature
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
