I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
