I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
