ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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