I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize