He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
