So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
