First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
