dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
