Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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