Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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