Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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