I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
