so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
