sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize