he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
