Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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