He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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